Guilt in the Form of a Blog

We all have guilty pleasures - something that we know we shouldn’t be doing but that gives us so much satisfaction we do it anyways. One of my guilty pleasures has been blogging. What could be more of a waste of time? I sit at work, and instead of getting semi-important things done (I am not so bad that I ignore the important stuff, at least not yet) I read blogs, search for new blogs, and, if the writing bug has bit, write on my own blogs (yes, plural!). If it isn’t in the urgent box, it probably won’t get done, since Kari is blogging.

Of course Andres thinks I’m crazy. I don’t really care. Other people may think I’m a geek or weird. Doesn’t bother me. I know there are better things to do with my time, but I can drown out that nagging voice at the back of my head. Truth be told, I like blogging. I love blogging. Something I never thought I’d say.

It is a wee bit like having a novel at your fingertips. Maybe if I had access to libraries, Amazon.com (without the horrendous shipping fees, of course), b&n, etc., I would be less inclined to spend my time reading bits and blurbs on the Internet. But since I don’t have this, blogging keeps me updated, makes me feel like I am not so far away, keeps me in the thick of things, so to speak. When I blog and read blogs, I don’t feel so bad about being here. I don’t feel so isolated. And that is an amazing feeling.

Still, with blogging comes many forms of guilt. Aside from just being a guilty pleasure, the onus it brings is at times unbearable. I use the blog to keep my family up to date on me, my kids, my life. But when I don’t blog I feel guilty. I am letting them down. I am reading about the lives of other people, people I don’t even know (I hear Andres’s voice again... 'crazy crazy crazy') instead of keeping my family on top of things. For example, my sister asks for my blog address so she has something to read at work. Since then I may have written what? A whole paragraph?

Shame Shame Shame.

So, if you feel that I am on a blogging frenzy this weekend, it is because I am. I’m making up for lost time. I promise to try to be better.

Plays on words

You know your kid's growing up when he starts getting jokes meant for your husband.

The other day the three of us (Kas was sleeping) were sitting around folding laundry. Tin was "helping" me pair socks. Of course, he was doing more throwing the socks around than matching them, so I asked him how many socks he was matching and how many he was throwing. He answered the second question: "Two."

Looking at Andres, I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Too many." To which Tin let out a guffaw.

"Too many! Too many!" he said, giggling. Then he came up to me and planted a big wet kiss on my cheek. "Mommy, you're silly! Too many..." And he sighed and shook his head from side to side, as if to say, what am I going to do with her?

Understanding puns? Oh no, that kid is no longer my little baby...

Unluckiest person in the world

Sometimes I think that the unluckiest person in the world is my mother-in-law. Not only does she have this crazy disease, polymyalgia rheumatica, she now is having problems getting permission at work to get the rest she needs. Even though the doctor has said she should not return to work (she works at a night school and the cold is really bad for her), because it is a public school, she can only get 7 days at a time (the doctor gave her a month, and then said she'll probably need three months in total to get back to "normal"). At work they gave her the permission, but to get it "legalized" (what is it with Ecuadorians and their love for LEGALIZING EVERYTHING?) she has to go back to the State Department of Education and get it stamped. There, they tell her they can only sign permission for 7-14 days. She goes back to the doctor to get him to rewrite the permission in increments of 2 weeks, and now she is told that they can't do it because it is "past its time." So, three months before she is eligible for retirement, it looks like she will be fired because of this crazy mess. Which means her retirement will be seriously compromised.

All of this is just unnecessary and crazy paperwork, since she was granted permission for the last two weeks - but not the first two (so, the dr. says I have this disease on Sept. 4, but I can't get permission to be sick from Sept. 4 to Sept. 17, but I can get permission from Sept. 17 to Oct. 4?). Also, she has a substitute in her place who she is paying out of her paycheck, so what, really is the big deal? I don't get it and never will, I guess.

On top of this mess, she has decided to try selling her family lot in Calderon. She finally found someone who wants to buy it, ASAP, and when she went to sell it she finds out that the city government has ordered that the lot is only good in order to build schools, public hospitals, or parks on. Not even houses can be built on the property, which contradicts everything since HER house is already built on the property. (Not the first time, by the way, that she has had problems with land in Calderon. She once owned another lot that she had bought herself, and it was taken by the authorities to build the new highway through.)

Needless to say, it really sucks. She is looking for a lawyer (of course the one she was recommended to use is out of the country until December) who might be able to help her, but in the end she will either lose the land or have to bribe and pay off who knows how many officials. And the worse part is that all of this was caused by her neighbors, who under good Ecuadorian philosophy believe that everything yours is mine, and that no one should have anything more than what I have (even though I don't work or do anything in order to get it). They think that my mother-in-law is rich because of the land (which she inherited) and so they wanted her to pay for paving the road that runs around her land. My mother-in-law is a schoolteacher, however, and while not dirt poor is by no means equipped with enough income to finance a city road. They got angry when she refused, and went to the city government and cried and complained that they needed a hospital, and then got the officials to "donate" my mother-in-law's land.

Now, I have nothing against building hospitals for low income families, lahdee lahdee, but the way people go about things is so corrupt that it makes you want to just cry, close your eyes, and give up once and for all on this country.

Long Time, No Write

I've been largely absent this month because of the teacher training course I've been involved in. One of our self-proclaimed "good" TEFL tutors decided to skip out on the program, without warning us at all, and I had to pick up most of her hours. I've been working long, long shifts - up to 14 hours a day, but it is extra income and well paid, and we finish this Friday so it was relatively short-term. Today is another long day, one in which I'll probably get home after the kids have fallen asleep. That is a depressing thought...

Learning to Manipulate...

Two-year-olds can be so much fun. Not only do they write on walls, pee on carpet, and bring rocks and dirt into the house by the truckloads, but they also begin to learn the fine art of manipulation.

I was downstairs doing the dishes yesterday morning when suddenly I heard screaming coming from the TV room two floors up.

"Agustin! Are you OK?" (You should have seen how fast I ran up those stairs. Who says I'm not in shape?)

"Mom! I wanna pee in the potty chair. MOM! I WANNA PEE IN THE POTTY CHAIR!" Then a realization - yes, of course, he's wearing his big boy pants and he WANTS TO PEE IN THE POTTY CHAIR! Run faster. Almost trip. Keep going. Reach the top.

"Tin! What did you say?"

Staring at the ceiling, playing dumb. "What?"

"What did you say? You want to go potty in the potty chair? Let's go!" (I'm real excited by now. See? I'm thinking. No need to train him. He's figuring it out on his own!)

Blank stare. I ask again, "What did you say?"

Innocent voice (a bit meek): "Come play with me in the tent!"

*****

And that's not all. That very same morning we were downstairs having breakfast. Tin finished and wanted to go upstairs. I looked at his little brother (6-months-old) and asked, "OK, Kas, your brother wants to go upstairs. What do you say? Do we go upstairs?"

Suddenly a small voice, three octaves higher, exclaims from the stairwell. "Yes, mommy, I wanna go upstairs, please." Tin, doing a great Kas impression.

You gotta love it. He's growing up. And, yes, mother, I DO realize that all this will not seem so cute thirteen years from now. But in the meantime, I am so enjoying watching him become his own little person...

books! books! books!

Yahoo! I found another bookstore here in Quito, and really close to work! (Bookstore with books in English, that is.) Most are used, but there is a really big selection and there are actually some pretty recent books. I saw Atonement by Ian McEwan and some Anita Shreve, Barbara Kingsolver, among many. I am so excited, because I got Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. How exciting! I spent less than $20, too. He also had a huge nonfiction section and Stephen King section. I am not normally a King reader, but once in awhile I just want something quick and scary to read, and his older books are unavailable around here. There were a lot of best sellers, for those who like those kinds of books. And the best thing is that the owner seemed really nice! It's called The English Bookstore and it's on the corner of Calama and 6 de diciembre. Prices range from like $5 to $14.


My really truly FAVORITE bookstore in Quito, however, is Anna's Books on Eloy Alfaro and (almost) 6 de diciembre, in Edificio Sinai. It is the BEST place for books, most new (she now has a gently used section - awesome!), and a great selection of magazines. She always has deals going on, and gets new stock constantly. You can find almost any of the contemporary fiction books there. Only problem is that prices are a bit high - up to $22 for a paperback. But her selection is so great and current that you just gotta pay the price to keep her in business. (I was never one to complain about an expensive book, either.) I could get lost in her shelves for hours.

The one place I do NOT like is the other used bookstore that has been around forever. The owner is a rude, gross American (no offense to other rude, gross Americans). The selection isn't too bad, but I would really rather not hear about the best place for prostitutes in town, nor how much fun it is to shoot the poor Mexicans crossing the borders. I can do without that. I would feel like a felon every time I walked in there.

And what a relief not to have to search the shelves of Libri Mundi. They have beautiful books, but whoever is in charge of ordering needs to get online and find out what people (of course, people like ME!) want to read. I do not need 5 different copies of the Kama Sutra (husband can disagree) nor care to have a $30 version of Crime and Punishment or Shakepeare's sonnets. I don't want to read about every drug addict in the free world and their argument about why they are intellectual for getting high. It can be mentally draining trying to find a book that is actually worth reading the back cover there.

So, keep on coming you book store owners! I want more more more!

Downsizing

[I love it! Andres is getting the blogging bug! Here's a little something from him that he asked me to publish... too bad there is truth to it!]

I have recently had to experience one of the wonders of development. My workplace, a public institution, decided to follow the book of industrialized countries and downsized its personnel under the lame excuse that Ecuadorian Public organizations are stuffed with employees. I am not going to provide any facts, data or information in order to prove that downsizing is absurd in a public institution since I am just blogging and all I want is to vent. I am just going to ignore all the believers of the private sector who fancy that a citizen needs to pay for the air he or she breathes, and instead I am going write on how this decision has affected my family and me.
As I fortunately belong to the board of this institution, the government decided not to eliminate my job but to cut down my salary. As a good Ecuadorian, I tried to see a solution to the problem without stressing myself to the point of justifying the action of the U.S. Postal workers during the 80´s and 90´s. After talking to my family, we all decided that we would do what people do in the “developed countries”: find a part time job bussing dishes in a restaurant or passing out flyers downtown. In other words, find a “Mc Job” in order to use all the knowledge acquired throughout my 21 years of formal education, my co-authored books and my extensive travelling. Perhaps, my family and I thought I could even apply abroad and find a better job. People in the First World must be dying to hire a Third World countryman to become the CEO of one of its trusts.
As a result of this illusion, I spent several hours searching for the perfect job in a developed country that would not require me to have a work permit, a visa, or even a political point of view. The answer was obvious…

Then my family and I got together and decided to be more austere. Cut down our expenses: no trips to see the in-laws, no Christmas shopping, no shopping at all as a matter of fact, no eating out, and not even turning on extra lights at home. This will have some consequences but if we want to survive as a modern and developed family we need to put up with the fact that my children will not see their grandparents and aunts; that Christmas will be, again, a strictly and only religious merry celebration and that shopping will be saved for when daddy’s public company gives him his salary back.

As a last resort, we thought of opening a free web page and asking for contributions for this poor Third World country family who has almost lost its income. I learned how to blog, and how to open a web user account. However, I did not learn how to make people feel pity for me and my family. The blog account and the web page are up, but no cent has been donated. It’s ok., though; only few fools believed in the Trickle Down theory.

The fact is that I, as well as my family, will need to reshape our expending habits thanks to a reduction in my salary. Please read this blog in case I don’t see you this summer, fall, winter or fall due to our family austerity.

Getting Around

gettingaround
Originally uploaded by kalymiller.

I love going from the mountains down to the coast. Not only do things start warming up, but you can almost feel like you're in another country. Sometimes it is because of the extreme poverty you see. Other times it is because of little things like vocabulary or dialect. But one of my favorite differences between the coast and the sierra is the transportation. Here you can see a bunch of people riding on an open ranchera - the people inside ride with no doors or windows to avoid heat stroke. What I loved best about the ranchera, however, was the piglet riding along. Someone's pet? Someone's supper? Someone's next paycheck? Either way, he was having a blast as the warm coastal air howled around him...

Disposable Cars

I have been largely absent these past few days, and not for lack of things to say. For those of you who know me, you’ve probably heard about our little situation last weekend. I was at work on Saturday, working in the office on a translation, when there was a problem upstairs. I ran upstairs with the other coordinator, making sure to lock the door behind me. I came back about two minutes later, and there was a guy (looked like a thug!) standing by the door, text messaging someone. I tried to open the door, and he started asking me questions about registration. I told him that they could answer his questions upstairs, but he continued pestering me. Meanwhile, I noticed there was someone in the office, trying to open the lock and get out. I stepped back and two guys came running out of the office. I yelled after them to ask what they needed, and they said that the “Teacher” already helped them. Well, there was no “Teacher” around on a Saturday, so I ran after them, calling for the guard (who, of course, came fifteen minutes later: “Do you need something?”… : | ). Meanwhile, the lookout guy started running down to where the cars are parked. I followed him, and he ran back upstairs and out the door. I never caught up with the other two. I think they had another guy waiting in the parking ramp, because later the guard noticed that someone had gotten out of the elevator on the fourth floor (no English classes there!) and stuffed an empty yogurt container in the door, so it (the elevator) wouldn’t move.

Eventually, I got back to the office to see what they had taken. They had gone through all of our bags and purses (things were not out of order but we noticed because all of the zippers were left open) and not taken anything – no money, no credit cards, no documents, no car radios, no cell phones. The only thing that was missing was our car key. [The landlady later told us that she had seen some guys downstairs checking out the cars that morning, and had kicked them out of the building. They came back, obviously, and right at the time that our Saturday students were leaving, so everyone thought they were students.]

To get to the point, our key is an electronic key with a remote control, and opens the doors and turns off the alarm automatically. Which means the thieves can now open our car and steal it. Well, for the past week we’ve been talking to the car company and other mechanics, and basically what we’ve been told is that we cannot change the micro chip of the car, which controls the remote. Which means that, for about $1000, we can change the key and all the locks, but the thieves will always be able to get into our car because they have the remote control, and that cannot be changed. In other words, they may not be able to take the car immediately, but with time they can hotwire it and take it anyways.

Not such a good system.

We’ve asked for advice from at least ten “experts,” and what they have all told us that the only real option we have is to sell the car. This month we make the last payment on it, and we are also waiting to get our contracts renewed, so not a good time for us to be buying a new car.

I don’t know what we should do. Actually, I guess I do, but I didn’t want to be forced into buying a new car. But what’s worse: save some money right now but be worried about leaving our car at work (since the thieves obviously know where to find it) and possibly have it stolen, or sell it, get what we can and use that money to buy a new car?

Sigh. As my grandma would say… It’s always something!

Tungurahua

tungurahua
Originally uploaded by kalymiller.

The other night my father-in-law gave us a copy of a homemade video that some of his friends near Ambato took the day the Tungurahua began exploding. It was impressive. I was really glad to see it, since I hadn't seen any of the images on TV when it was happening (having two little kids means that all you see on television are Barney and Elmo). The explosion was much bigger than I imagined. If I can figure it out, I will try to put a clip up on the blog. Until then, here is what the volcano looked like about four months before it exploded. It is now about 200 meters shorter, and isn't so cone-shaped. (It has actually been somewhat active for the past seven years, so has been slowly reshaping itself over that time.) This picture was taken on the way down to Baños. We happened to witness quite a few ash clouds that day.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

mirrormasterbath
Originally uploaded by kalymiller.

We finally got some mirrors installed in the bathrooms. This is no small miracle, considering that small mirrors with no frame can cost $35 or more, and the people who make the mirrors often decorate them with frosted swans and flowers. I suppose that increases their cost/value, but - not my style at all. But after poor Mom and Dad had to check their images in the reflection off the TV, we felt a little embarrassed, and with the next check set aside some big bucks to get some mirrors made. Luckily, we found these medicine cabinet types for only about $79 at a hardware store. We had to put them together, but Andres is good at that kind of stuff. Medicine cabinets are hard to come by here so they actually look pretty cool in our bathrooms, and they are very practical since we were hiding the medicine under towels in the linen closet for want of a better place to put it. Now we have them on the highest shelf... and Agustin cannot get to them. That feels good.

Interestingly enough, I didn't mind not having a mirror around. It was peaceful in our house with no mirrors, and though I've never been a vain person, it got me away from worrying about what I looked like or how my clothes looked on me. Of course, that is probably why every time I saw a picture of myself I would give a little gasp, haha! Well, we are back in the land of living and mirror-life - no more lala land mirrorless house - and actually we have even found some cheap ($15) full lengths that we bought too. So now there is no excuse not to make this diet work...every time I pass by my bedroom door that mirror reminds me...

Big House = Big Money

I have figured out a new mathematical equation. For those of you already with houses, you're probably like...

duh, Kari, how original.

But for those of us just getting out of those teeny-tiny (as Tin would say) starter apartments and into something with more than three floors (that are your own, mind you), the bills can be quite overwhelming. And that is without the need for heating or air conditioning! Just the electric bill is over three times what we spent in the apartment, the phone bill is higher (probably because I am using the Internet more, but also because now we are in a "rich" residential zone, where there are more taxes, whereas before we were near the poorer residential area Comite del Pueblo, so prices for basic services were lower). In our apartment we didn't have to pay for water, since the monthly dues took care of that, but here in our new house we pay like $20 a month. Gardening and upkeep, cleaning supplies to clean five bathrooms (don't laugh Andres - even if I don't clean them regularly I DO buy the supplies!), even furniture and wall hangings to try and fill up the space a bit! It is so weird to go from an apartment where you could barely move to a place where your voice actually echoes for lack of "stuff." It is quite fun, in a way, because I no longer have to fear those U.S. shopping sprees (that is, until the house gets cluttered again and we have to sell it and use it for storage and get our very own mansion).

One thing we finally decided to splurge on was sitting paraphenelia. Mom and Dad both experienced how awkward it was to visit while using the stairs and coffee tables as chairs. We plunged in and bought a beautiful sofa set, a la St. Albans, very soft and suede-y (dry clean only and please do not get it wet... Aargh! what?!"@# With two little boys? Oh no, what did we get ourselves into...) and definitely worth the price of a car!


Whew! We'll be paying that one off for some time. At least our guests have somewhere to sit (did you hear that my sisters? You can come and visit now because you have somewhere to sit).

Plans to buy a matching set for the third floor, but once the kids are a little older. As it is, the ones up there match now, too, due to the artwork (with non-removable pen, of course) of my little 2-year-old.

Mom and me

Here we are - Mom and her little bookworm (shhh, don't tell anti-book daddy!)

You know you're obsessed with books when...

1. the first thing your eyes are drawn to in magazines are the books on shelves and tables
2. you get a small magnifying glass out to read the titles of those books in the magazine photos
3. you feel like you lost your best friend when the local English bookstore closes for the summer
4. you browse the virtual bookshelves of other Library Thing subscribers
5. you secretly buy books instead of running an errand and hide them in the corner of a room of your house to later pull out and put on the bookshelf so that no one really notices them, especially since you haven't yet read the last one you bought (saving it for a special occasion)
6. you hoard books like candy, saving them for this unforeseen "special occasion"
7. you sometimes pull books down off your shelf and just run your hand over the cover, leaf through the pages looking at random sentences, and imagine what's inside
8. you do the above in bookstores, also, occasionally generating looks of bewilderment
9. you experience a rush of exhiliration every time you purchase a book
10. you get onto Amazon.com various times a day to see if your recommendations have been refreshed
11. you get REALLY excited when someone reads a book you recommended them
12. you go home to visit family and friends, traveling almost 4000 miles, and then spend the majority of your time in the library
13. your husband doesn't want to even hear the word book
14. the only thing that can quiet your two-year-old boy down is getting out a book (usually about cars or trains) and reading together (he doesn't let me read to him - we just sit next to each other and read our own books simultaneously!)
15. you write a blog entry about this addiction!

All set

Well, as many of you know, Bati is back in MN and has already made his first trip to the cabin. I am sure he is excited about that.

As for me, I was very depressed on Saturday, thinking about all of the Minnesotans outside roasting on their decks. Hearing that it is hot even at night didn't help. How many times have I made a trip back just to enjoy that humiliating, opressive heat? And instead got fifty-degree weather? Well, it just figures that you all would have a *great* summer without me. And that we'd be planning another winter trip. Bet this winter will be really cold, off the records...

Daily Zeitgeist for my Family

Hey everyone. If you're not getting enough photos of my boys, please scroll down and check out the flickr photos daily zeitgeist. I'll try to keep this updated. I'm sure Andres will help.

Soundproofing walls

Any ideas on how to soundproof walls? Our new neighbors are finally moving in (at very odd hours of the night...those poor kids need to sleep, I say!) and they are not what I would call "quiet." It looks like it will be a long ten or twenty years (by which time I hope the mommy screams and crying and ball throwing and drum pounding will have stopped and our lovely new neighbors' kids will have moved out of the house... or at least have decided to sit down and watch TV instead of triggering car alarms and house alarms and tears from me as I try to drown out their noises at 1 o'clock in the morning).

Happy 4th

Oh, and I should probably say Happy 4th to family and friends. Have a nice time at the cabin...without me! (Here I am, slaving away at work ... read: posting on my blog!)

Just flea bites

So, no, I am going to assume Tin doesn't have chicken pox. Last night he had a few pimply-looking things starting on his neck, but this morning they were gone and his belly marks are fading fast. No pus, no scabbing (yet), only a few marks on his leg, in a straight line where his sock ends. I guess our first hunch - FLEAS - was right. Now, how do you get rid of fleas? (Pretty sure he picked them up in Calderon - the weather has been dry and hot...perfect for those bloodsuckers, and he was playing in the same area where the dogs take their naps during the week... Glad it probably isn't chicken pox because I didn't know what I would do with the baby in that case).

Chicken Pox?

Uh-oh. We'll see tomorrow, but I think it may be...