The Monday Blues

Feeling a little blah and blue. 

Maybe it's because it's Monday. 

Maybe it's because I've been procrastinating things and have a bad feeling about how it's all going to play out when things are due. 

Maybe it's because I want a standing desk and am stick of being hunched over the computer at work all day.

Making my own standing desk. Gotta love the gray hairs and the bulging belly, though.

Maybe it's because I'm feeling out of control about my weight, diet, exercise, like I have no will power and then I feel ashamed and depressed. 

Maybe it's because of all of the changes at work and the unknown: Henry is retiring and (I suspect) because of that they are making things difficult, they want Andres to take the position with no pay raise or other guarantees, and it just seems unfair and maddening like we are being targeted or sabotaged. We've gone through this before, and hopefully we can get out of it, but the in-between part is no fun and very stressful (even though I don't feel the stress directly I'm sure it's affecting me). 

Maybe it's because I feel like in my forties I'm having so many health issues (most controllable, if I can muster the will power to be healthier): uric acid, cholesterol, ovarian cysts, weight gain worse because of peri-menopause and having no uterus and being constantly hungry for chips, thyroid issues, breathing problems (adult onset asthma? Doctor won't say but what else could it be? Allergies?), nodules in my breast that require regular mammograms and ultrasounds, foot problems and muscles aches, a need to go to a dentist...well, the list feels like it goes on and on.

Maybe it's because I took a week off of regular exercise to adjust to the altitude after our amazing UK trip and therefore my body is sore and tired.

Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping well (I assume - I fall asleep fine but toss and turn all night and wake up feeling like I haven't gotten a restful sleep). This may be the result of a combination of all of the above.

I remember my grandma telling me that, whatever I do, not to get old, and while of course I don't want to live a short life, I get it. I totally get it. The mid-forties have kicked my butt.

I hope the kids have little homework - or at least homework they can do on their own - so that I can go home and take a power nap. Today's a good day for one.

And then I saw this on Twitter and had a good laugh! At least I'm not alone...