Relationship - 31 Things Day 24

Commitment. Time. Ideas. Creativity. Fear. Frustration. Laziness. Trust. Affection. Communication. Ask. Share. Honesty. Selfish. Hurt. Love. Comfort. Happiness. Fulfillment. Satisfaction. Dissatisfaction. Continuity. Understanding. Blame. Awareness. Sight. Acceptance. Tolerance. Willingness to change. Adapt. Culture. Expectations. Disappointment. Growth. Change. Giving. Expressing. Absence. Self-consciousness. Silence. Embrace. Guilt. Language. Listen. Hear.

Questions that I ask myself occasionally:

Am I taking care of my relationships? Unfortunately, I’d say the answer is no, not as much as I should. Relationships are hard work, and I don’t feel like I put enough work in for what I get out of them. I recognize that I am a bit selfish and stingy, somewhat unwilling to change or accept what I can’t change. I need to listen more. And hear what is said. Really listen and hear. And give. Give everything I can, and not wait until tomorrow. Something I need to work on.

Which relationships do I need, and want, to nurture most? I want to nurture the relationship with my family most, and because I want to, I do. I spend a lot of time thinking about family and what we mean to each other, and how we can mean more to each other. But I need to nurture my other relationships better: my sisters, my friends back home. I’m not sure why I never call them, never text them, don’t check in on the important things often enough. Self absorption? Laziness? Or the thought that being so far away from everyone makes me invisible?

Which relationships do I miss most? Good friendships. My friends back home, the few I still see when we visit. My sisters. My nieces - my kids’ cousins. I wish we weren’t so far apart. I crave a big, extended family. I miss just hanging out or chatting over coffee with friends. Craft or game nights. Discussing a book with girlfriends. Andrés and I have a lot in common, but this is one area where he isn’t as interested as I am.

Which relationships am I happiest about? My family. My husband (this needs more work, as any relationship of this kind does, but I feel good about us in the long run). My boys. I really love my family and love spending time with them. I feel like I do a good job of showing my feelings, keeping us close and connected. 

Listen - 31 Things Day 19

I LISTEN to the windows rattle as the boys wake up and open their door. // I LISTEN to the boys fighting over how many moons Jupiter and Saturn have. I am asked to referee by looking it up on the Internet. (66 and 62, respectively.) // I LISTEN to Selena Gomez & The Scene in the car on the way to school at the request of the boys. They tell me, “Sube el volumen” a couple of different times.  // I LISTEN to pigeons cooing and really wish I could find (and destroy) their nest.  // I LISTEN to talk radio when I remember. I like chatter in the background when I am home alone, although I often forget to tune in. My friend Bree’s family always had WCCO talk radio on in the kitchen (even when they weren’t home, if I recall correctly). I would love to be in that habit. I loved walking into their kitchen and hearing the radio. // I LISTEN to music sometimes. Mostly with the kids. Mostly in the car and mostly when Daddy isn’t home. He doesn’t like background music. // I LISTEN for the gas truck all morning, running from window to window trying to determine if the one I hear is on the inside or outside of the complex. There are three false alarms before I finally see him. // I LISTEN to the typical chatter as I pick the kids up from school: how much homework they have, which of their friends have cell phones already, Nico contradicting everything as his grouchiness increases exponentially with his hunger. // I LISTEN to Agustín say Nico hit him. // I LISTEN to Nico say Agustín is bothering him. // I LISTEN to the boys chase each other around the coffee table. // I LISTEN to a ball hitting the walls and the stairs and the doors, over and over, as Nico practices his technique in the house. // I LISTEN to Agustín making explosion noises as he plays and remember that someday he’ll be all grown up and I won’t hear those noises in the background all day long. // I LISTEN to the sound of hundreds of Legos hitting each other as Agustín digs through his stash, looking for the perfect piece. // I LISTEN to Agustín’s giggles and laugh literally ring and peal through our house. When I hear him laugh I can’t help but laugh also. // I LISTEN to myself sound calm when what I really want to do is scream at the boys, and then I listen to myself sound upset when I think I’ve got it under control. // I LISTEN to Nico blowing through a whistle and wish I weren’t listening.

Chores - 31 Things Day 13

I used to be better about cleaning. 

In our apartment I made sure to deep clean once a week. Of course, that was before kids, and a time when Andrés and I spent more time out of the house than in it.

Seven years later, in a three-story house that isn’t necessarily big, but much bigger than our apartment, I find that once a month is more like my cleaning schedule. I have a hard time keeping up. Most days I feel like I am the only person doing much of any cleaning, and just the daily decluttering is enough to keep me busy. Part of the problem is that houses in Quito are not made for a life of accumulation: we have no garage, no basement, no storage rooms, small closets (and no entry closet) and a small patio. I have a hard time finding places for things, and therefore the things start to get in the way.

Laundry and dishes - these are two things that never seem to be finished. We do not have a dishwasher, but I like that. I actually like doing dishes. I love the hot soapy water washing away all of the dirt and grease. Laundry is done almost on a daily basis. I prefer it this way rather than have to do six or seven loads on the weekend. I don’t mind the folding but I really don’t like the putting away. Both of these are chores Andrés will do without my asking him to.

Andrés does most of the vacuuming as well, although I think it needs to be done on a more regular basis. Who does what and how much they do is a constant source of friction between us that I could really do without.

I have been thinking of getting the kids more involved in the household chores. Agustín is interested in folding and doing laundry, and Nicolás likes to do the sweeping, but I need to get them more in the habit, and to do less messing up so we don’t have to do so much cleaning.

The strange thing is, I like deep cleaning. I love watching things go from dull and dusty to shiny and clean. I love the sense of accomplishment. But as a working mom with two boys in the house and limited sunlight hours after work (every day the sun goes down at 6:30 on the equator, and by 6:40 it is usually pitch black) I have decided to pick my battles. Mostly I try to do things as I see them: wiping down the stove and counters as I cook, cleaning bathrooms a little at a time, sweeping and dusting small areas as I go about my day.

Watch - 31 Things Day 12

I watch TV with Andrés or the kids. If I am alone, I might put the TV on for background noise. Often Andrés has the TV on while I do something else: crochet, read, blog, email, play on my iPod. Shows that I do like to watch with him are Psych (a comedy/mystery series), The Middle (a comedy about a “regular” middle class family), and Last Man Standing (another comedy, a household of all girls - love this because it reminds me of my family a bit). We used to watch 30 Rock (a behind-the-scenes fictional live sketch comedy series) and Modern Family (a comedy about today’s “modern” family - I love the Latin aspect), but they are no longer on the air.

I watch movies on DVDs. Mostly animated, since that’s what the kids watch. I miss some of the classic musicals of growing up (Grease, The Sound of Music, The Wizard of Oz, Mary Poppins, Annie) and have begun to buy them for our collection, but never find the time to watch them. I prefer to read than watch a movie, although I do like going to the theater. The moment when they turn out the lights is so exciting. We really don’t go to the movies enough.

I watch clips on the Internet occasionally. The kids like classic Grover clips and I enjoy watching these with them before bed some nights.

I watch the Internet, scouring it for information, updates, inspiration. It makes me feel connected to the larger world. 

I watch the kids as they fight and argue and laugh and find their way with each other. I love to eavesdrop on their conversations (lots of “In my world”s right now) and watch them as they play, exploding and crashing everything in sight, over and over again. They notice when I am watching and I am told to stop.

I watch Nico as he watches his big brother and imitates everything he does. As he gains his independence with writing and reading and a larger understanding of the world.

I watch Agus as he tries to make sense of some of the problems of eight-year-old life: bullying and teasing and leaving others out. As he watches his brother play video games and shadows each movement with special sound effects.

I watch the horizon for volcanoes, mountains, snow-capped peaks. When I am outside I am always on the lookout. I love that moment when I turn a corner and there it is, an enormous, majestic volcano right in front of my eyes.

Nourish - 31 Things Day 11

Random facts about me + food

1. I love to eat. I love coffee. I love carbs. I love shrimp. I love anything with cheese on top. I want to love vegetables more than I do. I like to look at them, copy down recipes featuring them, often feel drawn to them, but I find that too many vegetables get thrown away in our house. 

2. I like to bake, especially cookies and pies and quick breads. I like to try new recipes and plan meals for larger family events, such as Thanksgiving. I don’t like the everyday cooking, however, and Andrés usually takes care of that.

3. Growing up, we always had home-cooked meals. I remember asking “What’s for dinner?” every night, and every night, without fail, responding with groans. I know I did this and I don’t know why - I usually enjoyed my mother’s cooking and wish I had some of her recipes now. My favorite food memories as a family were when Dad would do stir fry at the table in the wok. (I loved the carrots the most.)  I remember that he had a special “order” for putting in the ingredients. I wish I knew his secret now - stir fry never tastes as good when I make it. I also remember coming home from basketball practice during the long winter months and having spaghetti (and two glasses of milk). My spaghetti never turns out quite like Mom’s, either.

4. On the Miller’s side, the kitchen table was always stacked with goodies and much of the talk and catching up happened around this table. Every time we got together there was something new to try - spinach dip, mini Ruebens, white chicken chili, Special K bars, cocktail meatballs - and I’d often come home from the gatherings with a new recipe or two.

5. When the kids are older I dream of having one night a week or month where we make a meal from another country or culture. Right now I don’t think they would be adventurous enough. 

6. I know the kids’ favorite pancake recipe by heart. We make it that much. Nicolás loves to help.

7. Like Grandma Bauer, I make popcorn, but not just on Sundays. We probably have popcorn as a treat three or four times a week.

8. When I was young, my parents gave us a treat before bed every night. We don’t do this with the boys, since we usually eat so close to bed time, but it is something I look back on fondly from my childhood.




And the two-page spread:

Evening - 31 Things Day 10

We were away at the beach this weekend, so I've got a few days to catch up on. I did my journaling there, then put together the layouts when we got back.

Some truths about our evening routine:

Homework almost always lasts a couple of hours, so dinner is usually served around 7 pm. The kids like an hour or two before dinner to play in their rooms and just unwind. 

We almost always eat dinner together at the kitchen table. Occasionally we will allow the kids to eat “way upstairs” on TV trays in front of the TV, or if homework went extra long, at a table in their room, but most nights we eat together. 

Nico eats slowly and gets up often during dinner to bounce a ball, look for something, get a toy - anything to stall for more time. Agustín eats quickly and usually asks for seconds, or for dessert (for him, that means cheese). Both boys are in the habit of asking “May I please be excused?” before they get up and leave the table for good.

Depending on when Nico finishes his meal, the kids will have another 15 or 20 minutes to play before the bedtime routine begins. That consists of cleaning up their room, getting pajamas on, using the bathroom, and then getting Mommy or Daddy to help brush their teeth (dentist’s orders). 

There is always reading time before bed. Andrés and I take turns, but the kids seem to prefer “Mommy”. I think it is because Mommy lets them choose two books each. The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog is read every night, and lately we have also been reading Batman: Day of the Dark Knight most nights.

After reading is done, we say prayers - one in English and one in Spanish. There is usually a chorus of “Sweet Dreams!” and “Love you more than anything!” and then lights off. By now it is 8:30, although lately it has been more like 8:45.

While one of us has been doing the bedtime routine, the other is usually getting uniforms and lunches ready for the next day. This may mean that we are doing a load of laundry or a few dishes, but soon after this both of us usually retire to the bedroom to rest. We might watch a little TV or a movie together, or get some time on the computer. We are usually under the covers and not puttering around as the house is dark, quiet and cold at this time. I tend to go to bed after Andrés, since I am usually reading and have a hard time putting down my book. By eleven o’clock we are usually both ready to go to sleep. 

Funnies from Nico

He's at such a cute age where he is saying some very funny little things. Here are a few from the past week or so. My favorites that I wrote down.

"Hannah - look at me! I have a big wart on my forehead!"

At the beach last weekend, it had rained and there were so many bugs. I am talking tropical bugs. Crickets the size of your ear (how do I know? - one landed on Andrés's shoulder and one on my father-in-law's shoulder, then proceeded to walk down into his shirt), moths the size of your face (how do I know? - one landed on my face). Nico looked at me after these incidents and said, "Mom. I. don't. like. BUGS." He's not kidding, either. He saw a bug later that weekend and screamed so loud everyone thought something had happened to him.

After learning what LOL means: "Mommy, right that Tin LOL's a lot?"
*LOL = popular Internet term, "Laugh out loud" (instead of the now dated haha or J/K, both of which I still use, haha).

Grandma Bauer sent some stickers in the mail (back in January - they just got here last week), so Nico decided to write her a thank-you card. He did it in English and refused help. After he writes in English, he always "tests" me by having me reread it back to him. I don't get any help. At all. If I ask what something means, I am told to "read it."

I won't write the whole thing out, but at one point it says, "San Gama, San Nico (with some scribbles). I didn't know, so I read it as it was. "San Grandma, San Nico".
"NOOOOOOO!" I hear Nico scream (at the top of his lungs, a temper tantrum coming on). "It says SIGN not SAN!!!!!!! It's because I'm not a PROFESSIONAL AMERICAN!!!!!"
Then the tears (crocodile tears) came on.

I couldn't stop laughing at my amateur American, who is trying so hard to write in English but finding out it is not at all like writing in Spanish (which is quite easy - it's phonetic after all).

I will translate this one, because it originally came to us in Spanish (the kids are really into telling jokes right now):
Nico: What does Flash wear when he gets home?"
Nico: Should I tell you?
Nico: The most Flash (don't worry - it doesn't make sense in Spanish, either)
No one laughs. He is clearly offended that his joke didn't produce any laughter.
Nico: It was a riddle, not a joke. That's why.

Project Life Weeks 18 and 19

Project Life, Week 18. This week I was working on the Cocoa Daisy online crop, so I decided to use the 6x6 inch slots and make four mini layouts. It was fun, but not sure I will do it again (I have to next week, though, since it is the other side of next week). Too much work. I love playing and everything but sometimes the simplest pages have turned out the nicest. I have gotten a little a way from writing down the little stories throughout the day (probably because of Week in the Life, then the Cocoa Daisy crop, then the Big Picture Creative Crop, now working on 31 Things - so lots of creating going on here).

The right side of Week 18. A little bag that came in the mail with my washi tape. Last week of swimming - Agustín perfecting his form on the backstroke. So cool that he can do this. I tried the crawl stroke last weekend at the beach and almost drowned!

Some play time with the kids, a Skype video call with the cousins and Aunts, soccer, soccer and more soccer.

 We spent Friday night with some friends. María Emilia is Agustín's age and even though they don't see each other much, these kids pick right up where they last left.

Week 19: reading on the stoop (actual conversation between Agustín and I: 

Agustín: "Mommy, do you like to read?" 

Me: "Yes, I do."

Agustín: "Me, too." He was reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. A little over his head culture wise but he LOVES it and won't let me read it to him or explain anything. As we read he kept looking up and telling me parts of the story.

A Mother's Day event at the kids' school (they were very secretive about it all - the highlight was the mariachis. Agustín, after lots of coaxing, finally took me out to dance. Nico didn't even think of me and danced with his little friends on the side of the dance floor. :) )

Another weekend at the beach. Love.

Lots of little love notes coming in from Nico as he gets better and more confident at his writing. He loves to try to write in English, but refuses to get help from anyone. Here his note says, "Mommy, can I play on the computer?" If you turn it over, it says, "Yes or no?"  Lots of those little notes this month. Many of them actually say, "Mommy, do you love me? Yes or no" and I am instructed to please circle my answer.

:)

I'll post more of Nico's "funnies" from the last couple of weeks tomorrow.

Lunch at Grandma's today (Kids had early release). Nice that we can walk there.

Project Life: Weeks 11-17

Week Eleven

A quieter week. Some laundry, some crochet, a cute book came home with nico this week (seen in the insert).

This is the only insert I've done so far, but I'm ok with that. So far the album is so much fun to go through, not sure each week needs more. Just going to go with the flow I guess. A lot of excitement below as the kids were given permission to ride from Grandma's house to home in the front seat. How cool was that!?

Week Twelve

The kids went to the stadium on Sunday and got Liga shirts (it was Nico's first time at a game) and so soccer fever has started!

Some shots of "Mommy School" as well!

Week Thirteen

It's been a rough rainy season, and although we had planned a beach trip every weekend in March and April, the landslides on the highways have prevented it. Things opened up for Easter break, though, and the kids were dropped off to spend a week there with their grandparents alone (well, we stayed on the weekends, just not during the week). Bati and Gaby came but can you believe I didn't get one picture of them? Crazy.

Week Fourteen

Andres turns 40, we spend some days in the city alone (catch a movie and go out for drinks a couple of times!), then back to the beach to pick up the kids.

Week Fifteen

Easter egg hunting and dying, bowling night, and some very cold weather makes up this week.

Week Sixteen

As I said, the soccer bug has bit. Back to the stadium. Some crochet for me. Some cleaning for Nico (he wasn't even asked! He loves to sweep with that little broom - great purchase!) More ephemera this week - I love that and want to do more. I feel like I'm filling things up with too many photos and not enough words and stuff. Will be more mindful to do so...

Here I did get some journaling in from the kids' teacher conferences and also a little about our "wild" Saturday (started with books form the library and ended with Shushu being rushed to the hospital. It turned out to be a pinched-nerve-like thing in her shoulder, but very painful. Thought it might be her heart so didn't want to take chances.)

Week Seventeen

And here we are - all up to date. Again with super bad, blurry pics. Sorry!

This Sunday we saw Pirates in the theater. Nico won first place in a drawing contest (Tin won third!), we had an ice cream break on Monday, the kids got soccer gloves from Grandpa for their outstanding report cards, Mommy and Daddy went downtown to a super fancy restaurant, and Nico shadowed me all day Saturday, then ended the day doing some nifty acrobats for me!

Wow. Just when you think your life is a bit on the boring side, you go back and see how absolutely blessed and lucky you are.

As Agustin would say, "This family rocks."

He also likes to say "thingamadoodle."

Project Life: Weeks 7-10

More from my Project Life binder. Again, horrible photos. I know. They make me want to cry. Oh well. 

Week Seven

Valentine's Day, with some of the cards I gave the boys. An insert from the chocolate heart Tin received. Pictures from Family Game night, and some pics of A wrestling with the boys.

Week Eight

Carnaval weekend, lots of soccer as you can see.

Week Nine

This week saw us back at the beach, as well as starting swimming lessons again. A few samples of the kids school work (studying for tests) as well.

Week Ten

Back at the beach again, after a big storm. Birthday week as well - Nico turned 6 and Shushu 66! Some pictures from our secret mission that led to the birthday gifts. That was so much fun to put together.

The photo of the balloons on the left hand side where the balloons I put up the night before Nico's birthday. I laughed so hard when he came out. He just looked at them, looked at me, and then in his voice that says you-must-be-crazy said "What'd ya put up all the balloons for?" Still cracks me up!

Playing Project Life Posting Catch Up: Weeks 3-6

I have been really good about keeping up with Project Life. In fact, I look forward to it all week, and some weeks it goes by too fast. I did run out of photo paper one week and had a hard time finding some in the stores, so I got a little behind, then proceeded to run out of ink the next week, but I am finally all caught up and things are working just fine. I am using the DayOne app to jot down little things - I haven't used it every day but two or three times a week, which helps record some of those little moments that are hard to remember at the end of a week.

I am going to go ahead and post each of my weeks, because I like to get a general feel for the album this way. I am doing it in terrible light, however, because during the day when the sun's out the kids are following me around and it's harder to get it done. So excuse the horrible horrible quality of the pics. Maybe someday when I've got tons of extra time to spare I'll re-photograph them.

Week Three

A pretty normal week around here. Not much going on out of the ordinary.

Week Four

The kids had an event going on at school. Andres and I took some time off and went to watch it. Had a lot of fun, although it was so cold outside!  And wet.

Week Five

A birthday party for a girl in Nico's class, another event at Tin's school to celebrate the Tarqui Battle. Some of the kids art work...

Week Six

A trip to Ibarra this weekend, an event at work (nice and fancy, haha), a meeting with an old student of mine, some family time.

A Good End to Spring Break

Back at the beach again! Woohoo!

I could really get used to this.

Of course, from a blogging point of view, it was quite boring. Same old, same old: pool, ocean, pool, seafood, etc, etc, etc.

The kids did get some play time in: Angry Birds, the card game! (Quickly becoming a favorite, and a classic! - thanks Aunt Kimmy!)

The kids didn't seem all that excited to see us (the parents) because Bati was there, and they couldn't get enough of him (Yet oddly I don't have one picture of them with him - bummer!).

But I am sure they were excited to get lots of bedtime reading in, especially with our favorite English book The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog.

It was hot, still, and the kids got to use their fancy M&M's fans.

I caught Agustín reading the paper one morning (it was a Miami Herald Andrés had brought from work). He informed me, very seriously, that he was "reading about London. It's really interesting. I don't really understand much, but I know it's interesting."

We left for Quito on Saturday, hoping to beat the holiday traffic by a day, and were glad we did. There had been a landslide on the highway we normally take (only 20 miles north of Quito! Such a bummer - so close, yet so far...) so we had to take the Sto Domingo highway. It had been years since we'd taken this route, and they've done a lot to the highway to improve it - tunnels and two lanes both sides, more signage. Man was it ever gorgeous! The "new" highway can't compete at all - and it is pretty too, but the Sto Domingo road is full - FULL! - of waterfalls and volcanic rock and breathtaking drops off the edge. Absolutely awe-inspiring. We were all speechless - except for Andrés, who actually had to drive it. Still as dangerous as ever, the highway is super wind-y with tons of hairpin turns, and of course it rained and was foggy all the way to Quito - quite stressful, not to mention the extra hour and a half it added to the already long drive.

But I got to see the Devil's face! Yay! I thought it had been demolished with all the construction.

Creepy.