Funnies from Nico

He's at such a cute age where he is saying some very funny little things. Here are a few from the past week or so. My favorites that I wrote down.

"Hannah - look at me! I have a big wart on my forehead!"

At the beach last weekend, it had rained and there were so many bugs. I am talking tropical bugs. Crickets the size of your ear (how do I know? - one landed on Andrés's shoulder and one on my father-in-law's shoulder, then proceeded to walk down into his shirt), moths the size of your face (how do I know? - one landed on my face). Nico looked at me after these incidents and said, "Mom. I. don't. like. BUGS." He's not kidding, either. He saw a bug later that weekend and screamed so loud everyone thought something had happened to him.

After learning what LOL means: "Mommy, right that Tin LOL's a lot?"
*LOL = popular Internet term, "Laugh out loud" (instead of the now dated haha or J/K, both of which I still use, haha).

Grandma Bauer sent some stickers in the mail (back in January - they just got here last week), so Nico decided to write her a thank-you card. He did it in English and refused help. After he writes in English, he always "tests" me by having me reread it back to him. I don't get any help. At all. If I ask what something means, I am told to "read it."

I won't write the whole thing out, but at one point it says, "San Gama, San Nico (with some scribbles). I didn't know, so I read it as it was. "San Grandma, San Nico".
"NOOOOOOO!" I hear Nico scream (at the top of his lungs, a temper tantrum coming on). "It says SIGN not SAN!!!!!!! It's because I'm not a PROFESSIONAL AMERICAN!!!!!"
Then the tears (crocodile tears) came on.

I couldn't stop laughing at my amateur American, who is trying so hard to write in English but finding out it is not at all like writing in Spanish (which is quite easy - it's phonetic after all).

I will translate this one, because it originally came to us in Spanish (the kids are really into telling jokes right now):
Nico: What does Flash wear when he gets home?"
Nico: Should I tell you?
Nico: The most Flash (don't worry - it doesn't make sense in Spanish, either)
No one laughs. He is clearly offended that his joke didn't produce any laughter.
Nico: It was a riddle, not a joke. That's why.