He will be seven in three days.
Seven years ago, today was my due date. I went into the doctor and the doctor said we should probably do a C-section and I freaked out and begged for a couple more days. I was terrified of having a C-section. More than labor, for some reason.
Well, we waited until the 19th, when I went in and the doctor scheduled an emergency C-section because the fetus was in distress and the heartbeat was going down. Agustín spent a week in the hospital, 3-4 of those days in the ICU, and I still can't help but think that it was probably my fault.
Or maybe not. I don't think the doctor would have let me wait if it had been dangerous. I want to tell myself it was just one of those things. It happens. No one really understands it. But in the end the C-section wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to me. Having a sick baby was, and suddenly how he came out seemed the least of my concerns.
(Almost) seven years later I can look back in relief and know that he is OK. He is healthy and strong and seemingly unaffected by the incident. But I wasn't, and am not, and will never forget that terrible scare. To this day, I can't watch the video that Andrés taped for me to bring into my room so I could "meet" my little newborn until I recovered enough to go up to the ICU without seriously bawling my eyes out.
We love you, Agus!
3 comments:
:-/ I remember the call from Andres (Mom, who relayed the message to me)--we were ALL terrified, and thank our lucky stars that everything turned out OK! Don't be so hard on yourself--like you said, the Dr. should have never let you leave if there was any foreseen danger...
Can't believe the Donut Monster is SEVEN already!!!!
Childbirth is such an exciting and scary thing.
You are right, in the end, all that matters is that the baby is with us. Alive and healthy :-)
I remember it well....being there and seeing him in the nursery looking so sick and having other kids in other rooms even more sick than him....it was so hard. He was hooked up to those moniters, etc., but he was so beautiful! Just think how important that little bundle was to us then, and we didn't even know him yet! Our love is what pulled him through, dontcha think?
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