I am sitting at the kitchen table with Andrés and Agustín. Nico is upstairs and I have no idea what he is doing. It is way too quiet up there. The day has been a bit stressful and already seems too long. I am listening to Andrés talk about work and feeling hurt because he doesn’t ask me about my day, even though we talked earlier. I recognize that this feeling of being on the verge of tears is mostly from the stress of having a sick kid and not knowing what is wrong with him. Agustín sits at the table just picking at his food. He looks like he is on the verge of tears as well.
The house needs attention and tomorrow we are having people over for Nicolás’s baptism party. There are strawberries on the table that Anita from work gave us. They need to get eaten - they are already getting moldy in parts.
Next to the strawberries there is a pile of Agustín’s school stuff - sent home last week, but I am afraid he may need something these next two weeks and so don’t put it away yet. I am overwhelmed with just where to put it - I feel like the stuff from last year is still sitting on my desk.
Andrés is still talking and noticing that I am not really paying attention. He is getting a bit short-tempered with me and I sort of don’t care at this moment.
The day has been cloudy and cool, not at all sunny and warm like it has been the last few weeks. I suppose we need the rain but the weather isn’t helping my mood.
There are some flowers in the vase that probably have a few more days left in them. Blue roses. Very unusual and quite fun to have around. I really should try to buy flowers more often.
There are backpacks and bags with the things from the kids’ open house lying all over the living room floor, and I can’t bring myself to clean them.
Andrés gets fed up and goes upstairs. Agustín follows him and I welcome that because I can just sit and cry for a few minutes. I am also trying to get over a cold and not feeling right, but a small cry does the trick. I do still feel sorry for myself, but I feel better as the tears start to dry.
3 comments:
:-( I don't like all the crying talk in this post.
Hope things get easier for you--and hoping my Agus is feeling better.
*Love* from above!
Sad to read the "crying talk", too, but it has hopefully passed by now. We will see you soon and being with your Minnesota family and in your townhouse should make things perk up a bit.
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